Well, looks like the wiki’s going down because of my derelict anti-social webmaster, who has decided to just screw it and make his hermit life official by moving to rockhampton. If you don’t know where that is, theres a very good reason for that. I am going to take this opportunity to sit on my ass and accomplish even LESS than I normally find myself doing.

Lastly, I think the short notice just explained itself, don’t you think?

In this day and age, legs have fallen into disuse. While we may occasionally venture to the kitchen, the toilet, or the bus stop with them, they generally see very little use in our modern lives. Feet belong on the floor, while hands are the primary manipulators of things and stuff, and the like.

NO MORE!

I just did a shoutcast with a curious hosting setup that leaves my “talk” button on a different computer. The ramifications of this being that i am unable to WASD + mouse, while also reaching over to another computer to push my talk button.

Or so I thought.

After pondering this conundrum for some time, I came across a startling innovation that had been under my nose the whole time. Feet are the answer! Somewhere along the way we forgot that toes are tarsi too! I employed, with great success, my feet to push the control button whenever i wanted to talk. I just gave them this small job to start with, because I wasn’t quite sure how they would handle it, but having seen the finesse with which they handled their control-pushing, I am planning to give my feet much more work in the future. Today, they push control. Tomorrow, they play team fortress 2 alongside my hands, allowing my clan to finally realise their dream of having two shadys on their team, operating as one.

A leading expert described the event as “Quite a feat”.

Oh NOES!

So yes, I have already valiantly withstood some preliminary Christmas festivities, and also thoroughly enjoyed some others that were thrown by my friends. For one, I was told to bring a present. So, the day of the party (In my defence, I thought it was the day before. I didn’t know it was the day of the party until my good friend Aaron Coleman arrived on my doorstep that night and said get in the car) I went to the shopping center at midday and decided that I would wander these halls of the damned until such a time as I had found a suitable present for one of my lovable friends. Along the way, I ran into a certain LAN buddy of mine, Nathan “Only1Stoodley” Stoodley, who was recovering from a hangover and had come to the battlefield for a triple shot of coffee from gloria jeans. With nothing better to do, he accompanied me through various nick-nack shops while I searched in vain for a gift. Until finally, in the midst of the wigs and eyepatches aisle I had an epiphany.

“STUFFED TOYS ARE THE ANSWER!”
“Thats an idea”
“WHERE WOULD WE GET ONE?”
“…a stuffed toy store?”
“DO THEY HAVE THOSE?”
“I’m not sure. We could try, I guess.”
“OK.”
“Or we could try Toys ‘R’ Us”
“GOOD IDEA”
“Could you stop talking in allcaps, please?”
“NO.”

So, we quested from one end of the centre to the other, and found ourselves in Toys R Us. I selected an adorable oogoochywoogaboogywoodiddleitsapuppydog from the shelves, as well as some play doh, just for lulz. We decided not to proceed to the check-out until we had finished our berry chillers from gloria jeans. This took a good five minutes, but we didn’t mind, seeing as the toy store was surprisingly calm compared to the rest of the mall. While there, I presented an interesting observation.

“Do you think that we’re the LEAST common demographic in this store?”
Stoodley put down a dora the explorer plushie he has been examining with disdain before replying, “You’re probably right. I mean theres lots of mums. Theres lots of kids. Theres the odd bloke getting dragged through the store by his girlfriend. But two 18 year old males?” I decided not to tell him i was still 17, “They probably haven’t seen the likes of us in millenia.”
“And here I am. With a stuffed dog under one arm, and a jar of play doh under the other. I think the stuffed dog thing suits me. It has character. I should carry one around more often.”

I then wore that dog on my head at the bus stop for 15 minutes, before taking it to the party to find a loving home with my good friend Katrina. This christmas battle, my friends, has been won.

Shady out.